Surviving Darkness
by Blondi-Buscus
Summary: Sequel to Tobuscus's roommate. Tobys roommate suffers an accident, rendering her sightless. Will she regain her sight? Can things return to normal? Or will the relationship they both thought was growing crash and burn?
1. Chapter 1

_Entry one_  
_ I don't know why the doctors are insisting that I do this, but they told me to write letters to you. To tell you what you missed, and recount what happened. They said you would have questions. It's hard to believe that two months ago, you were nothing like this. You were like a five year old almost, jumping around, and having fun with Nicole. She's here too, along with your dad and brother. Your mother wanted to come too, but your dad wouldn't let her, though I don't know why. There are some questions that you have to answer for me too then, I guess. Well. I better start explaining some things that. _  
_ It started at the meet up in London. There was over two thousand people there, just to meet us. Well, more so me, but there was quite a few for you too. We decided that we should leave, as people were starting to get hurt. You had taken three young girls from the mob, Sydney, Cara, Kiana. I hope you remember them… They started talking to me after what happened, and I found out they were orphans who would go to the library just to watch my videos. Key word is that they were orphans. Good thing we have a few extra rooms in the house. They're here too, and want to contribute to the letters too. Even some of the Audience is writing for you. Recounting memories, telling you to get better. I never realised how much that they liked you. I'm glad they do. _  
_ Getting off topic. You ran to try and grab a taxi, but got tripped, and trampled under everyone. Three of your ribs got creaked, and you are in a coma… I can't help that it feels like my fault… _  
_ I can't do this much longer, I miss you so much._  
_~Toby_


	2. Chapter 2

_Entry two_  
_It's been a week. I haven't written you in a week, and it hurts, because I should tell you everything that happens, but not much happens. The Audience keep sending things in, and the doctors are wondering who you are. It's funny, actually, they look at you with a lot of respect, because of the letters you get. And flowers. And… other things. Sometimes the Audience is weird like that. I didn't open any of the packages, they're waiting for you. The hospital room is getting filled with flowers. I still vlog regularly, but sometimes, it's hard, because I don't want to leave you, but I don't want to vlog in the hospital room, because then the Audience would see you in your worst state._  
_ Cara started telling me about her past the other day when we were alone. She told me her parents used to abuse her, and the only way she could comfort herself was watch my videos, until she ran away from home. She told me that she found the other two girls at the orphanage, and they became close friends, but were all bullied constantly there, until now I guess. _  
_ Vidcon is in a few weeks… I bought another ticket, and gave them to the girls. Olga is going to take care of them when they get there. I refuse to leave you, even though I know the Audience is going to be disappointed. _  
_ Olga got a girl dog like Gryphon, and she's going to take care of Gryphon until Vidcon, but after that… I don't know. I don't know what to do, go and take care of Gryphon, or stay here with you. But I'm sure if I leave for a little bit… You wouldn't mind… Would you? I just need to find someone to take care of him. Maybe my mom would._  
_ She moved to the area lately, only two weeks ago. She heard what happened to you, and is upset, even if she's never met you. She wants to meet you. _  
_ I don't know what I'm even writing anymore, it's two o'clock in the morning, and I couldn't sleep, so I wrote you. I promise I will write more. Please… wake up soon… I miss being able to talk to you… and play video games with you… _  
_ Heh, people are wondering how I am still posting videos on Tobygames with you in it… _  
_~Toby_


	3. Chapter 3

_**Um. Yeah, the reason Autumn isn't waking up yet is because it's supposed to be a story about how Toby copes with the guilt and stuff like that, I don't know, I might change the title to: Restarted. Yeah, I'm pretty sure you can figure out what's going to happen. ;D But yeah, the letters are going to stop eventually, and go back to POV, but I'm going to make it only one POV, but I don't know whose. YEAH.**_

_**Sup friends?**_

_Entry three_

_ I barely can write anymore, there is just nothing to talk about. Tom came to visit you today, he brought some flowers. Obviously you can't see them, so I will try my best to describe them, thought I'm not good at naming flowers. It has a lot of different coloured petals, but they all fade to black, and in the middle is the blue… nectar thing. It just looks really nice. I'll just take a picture, and show you it later I guess._  
_ You really scared the doctors today. I had gone for a coffee, (It was 2 in the morning.) And got called to the room. I am hearing this second hand, but apparently, when they tried to get you to respond to anything, your heartbeat increased slightly, then stopped for a few seconds. But thankfully, you're fine. Wow, even when you're not talking… or doing anything really, you cause excitement. _  
_ Yeah, I've decided that I will go back to America to take care of Gryphon. I wouldn't be able to be here if no one was protecting him. Tom and Bing volunteered to help out, and they have a few friends that will stay too. So I have booked a trip for next week, and got a hotels that allows pets, so I can come back with Gryphon to take care of you, though, you don't need taking care of much I guess, as you don't do anything._  
_ I vlogged today again, and told them about the experience. No matter what, I promise I will keep vlogging, because that's how I found you, and you found me. It brings me back to a better time… I'm running out of video games, but I don't think that I will be record anymore, because it's become sort of our time, and I don't think I could do that. Not until you wake up. _  
_ The doctors have assured me that you're going to wake up, so you better. I think I'm done today, it's taken me so long to write this, and I know they are short, but right now, the days are short._  
_~Toby_


	4. Chapter 4

Swimming. Darkness. Nothing. Murmured voice, one voice, alone. Telling my to wake up please, that they missed me, that I needed to wake up, PLEASE. Then soft crying, a sound. Something brushing on my face, gently tracing my feature of my face. This went on for what seemed like years, but in reality, was probably only minutes. I began to wonder if I only imagined the voice when I heard it again. Please, wake up, come back to me, it's all my fault. The voice was begging now, choked. Sadness tore through me, I wanted to know who the voice belonged to, to hug them, tell them I'll be fine. It's silent again now, minus the sobbing. I was alone again. I hear beeping, and immense pain in the back of my head, as though it was crushed. My mouth opens to scream in pain, and I try to move my arm, to bat away whatever is there, but they won't move. My mouth is open, and sound rips out of my raw throat.

"LET GO OF ME! IT HURTS!" I scream, trying to format words, but I can't get them out, or at least, I can't hear them properly. I sound as though I am under water. Muffled. I feel someone take my hand as I scream more, then pain hurting more. "Please... MAKE IT GO AWAY." I scream once more, and hear the person crying again, holding my face.

"Please just open your eyes. Please, wake up... Please tell me you're okay, anything!" The person says, gripping my hand tighter as another scream rips through me. It hurts so much. I wish in the back of my mind I had stayed asleep. I hear the person gasp, and run their hands over my face again.

"You're awake. I've missed you so much... Your eyes are so beautiful." They say, confusion overtaking me as I scream more. How could he see my eyes? My eyes are still closed, I can't see anything. Darkness. Empty. Swimming. I heard him pressing a button above my head, which obviously called for a nurse. I continued screaming, unable to stop now, the pain still ripping through my body, suddenly full of movement as it had a spasm, which started as a shaking in my leg, and turned into my entire body shivering, as if freezing, while horrible screams were produced by it mouth... No, not it. Me. Though I wasn't in control of my body, it was stillness, laying on this stupid bed, stupid body shaking violently, stupid screams. Stupid stupid stupid. I just wanted to wake up, and be myself. I imagined what whoever was touching me was seeing. I hink it was Tom, the voice was clearly male, but it was different then Toms. Either way, last time I had seen him, was three years ago. I wondered where Edd was, and Nicole. The last thing I could remember was getting onto the plane. But that seemed so long ago? I heard more people coming into the room, yelling at the person to let go of my hand, but he couldn't, as I had gripped it too hard. Obviously, my body wanted human interaction. The people, who I assumed were doctors, began looking me over, prodding and poking at me as I kept screaming. I wanted to stop now, but couldn't. My mouth was frozen open, grotesque screams torn from my lungs. The doctors started to explain something to this person, saying there was something wrong with my 'occipital lobe', whatever that was. It seemed to have something to do with vision, and the doctors said I may not see. This surprised me, if my mouth hadn't been opened, it would have fallen open from the news. I had started to gain control of my body, hand being the first thing I could control. I gently squeezed the hand of whoever was holding mine, and I heard their breath catch in surprise. I tried to open my eyes, but found that they were, in fact, already open. But I could see nothing. It was still that same maddening darkness that had haunted me for the past... I then realized I had no idea how long I had been here. In attempts to move my head, I had a needle injected into my neck, and fell asleep due to the drugs seeping into my blood.

* * *

I woke with a start, golting upright on the hospital bed, eyes still seeing darkness. I could feel someone staring at me, and spoke, my voice coming out in rasps.

"Please tell my I just haven't opened my eyes, please..." It sounded like the whimper of a two year old, but I didn't care. I hear the person sigh shakily, and get up, walking over to me, and I reached my hands out. I wanted to know who it was, and I figured I could find out by the features of this persons face. Obviously enough from their voice, it was, indeed, a guy. He came close, gently grabbing my hands, and putting them to his face, knowing what I wanted. I moved my hands over their features, not recognizing them. I moved my hand up to their hair, as that seemed the easiest way to go. I found fluffy, almost curly hair. It was soft, and slightly damp, so obviously, had had a shower within the last two hours. At least they were taking care of themself.

"Who are you? I need to know." I said, and I felt their eyes close under my palms. Me asking this had brought them pain, for some reason.

"It's... Toby. Please tell me you remember me. Toby Turner." He said, and I paused, shaking my head.

"Stop joking around, everyone knows Toby wouldn't visit me! He's, like... What's the word... On computers, where you can watch videos?" I asked, not remembering the word.

"YouTube famous? Well, I promise it's me, Autumn." He said, and I shook my head again, pulling my hands away from him.

"No, this isn't happening. I meet my idiol, in a hospital, God knows where, probably mangled from the plane crash, and I can't even see them!" I said, and heard Toby grunt slightly in confusion.

"What plane crash? And we're really good friends! You lived with me for months, with Nicole, and we came to London, and you were trampled in a mob, which was my fault!" He said, next to sobbing. I tilted my head slightly, a habit I had, trying to remember.

"The last thing I can remember is getting onto the plane to move to L.A. With Nicole. That's it!" I said, and Toby nodded, distressed.

"This isn't something from the wish program for Cancer kids, is it? I don't even know where I am." Toby walked closer to me, and gently clutched my hand.

"No, this is life. This is what happened after you got on the plane. You met me. I was your roommate. You've recorded with me, and vlogged, and came to a meetup with me, which landed you in the hospital. All in five months." He said, and I leaned back, suddenly tired again, probably from all this information.

"You even started writing a book about it!" Toby said, following me. I closed my eyes, shaking my head, though, I couldn't see anything either way, it felt better to close them.

"I wouldn't forget that, would I?" I asked, more to myself. I yawned, just wanting to sleep again, thinking this was all a dream. I wasn't blind, and I've never met Toby Turner in my life.

* * *

I yawned, and sat up, waking up for the third time. I heard more people in the room this time, the sound making me think four.

"Who's there?" I asked, opening my eyes, but still finding only darkness. My shoulders dropped slightly in disappointment, and I turned slightly to where I heard people. I felt three small hands wrapping around my legs.

"It's us, Cara, Sydney, and Kiana! You remember us, right? Toby said you wouldn't, but I don't believe him!" One of the three said, and I heard the last person chuckle slightly, and I shook my head, not knowing who they were.

"No, I'm sorry girls, it doesn't seem to ring a bell. I don't even remember meeting Toby!" I said, moving my hand to one of their heads, their hair fluffy, and full of curls. I moved on, finding team others head, hair straight and smooth, and the next the same.

"I'm not even sure where I am." I said, and felt one of their heads dip in sadness.

"We missed you at VidCon, Olga took us with her... Toby was going to take you, but then you came to London, and a mob happened, that's where you met us." One of them explained, the one with the curly hair, due to the movements of her head. I was still confused, but nodded.

"I'm sure that would have been nice, could you tell me more? I'm still confused, maybe my memory will come back if you keep telling me!" I hated giving the three of them false hope, but I didn't want them sad either. Quickly, they started talking about it, telling me all about how I had met Toby, and became roommates with him. Eventually, Toby, who had been the other person in the room, walked over, shooing the girls out of the room, not wanting to over load me with too much information. I still didn't believe him, but was willing to, if he could prove it to me. He walked close, as he seemed to do, and I held out my hands, bringing them up to his face, wanting to read his emotions. His eyes had crinkled laughlines, and slightly bushy eyebrows, but a thin frown on his face, and deep bags. He was obviously distressed, and I closed my eyes, and brought my hands away, feeling silly.

"Sorry..." I said, though I wasn't sure what for. I just wanted him to be happy again, for those laughlines not to be fading, and prominent on his face.

"I need to be sure who you are. How can I be sure?" I asked, and I felt him shift, pulling something out of his pocket, and lay it onto my lap.

"I asked the girls to bring this from the house. It was your story you were writing, about our life, remember? That's a stupid question, don't answer that. But you told me that it was literally your diary, with the names changed. I could read it to you. There is also vlogs of you and me, on my channel, along with videos, gaming videos. I would be able to- um." He stopped, unsure.

"Well, you could listen to the audio of it, and I could read the book to you!" He decided, smiling slightly at his breakthrough. I nodded slightly, opening my eyes again, but, still empty. I wondered what they looked like, unseeing, or maybe it wasn't different?

"What do they look like? The three girls, I mean." I asked, opening the book, and moving my hands down the pages, feeling the scratches on the paper from the past pencils.

"Well, Cara is only up to midchest on me, so quite short, and has curly black hair, which goes to her hips, and really light eyes, like yours, blue and icy. She's super pale, and one of her eyes has a big scar over it, from her father. Then, Sydney, she's taller, about to my shoulders, in fact, and has really straight hair, which is blond, with brown highlights, or whatever it's called, and her hair reaches down to her midback. Um, her eyes are hazel, and she is tan, she told me her parents are from Portugal, and moved to London when they were small. Kiana isn't short like Cara, but isn't as tall as Sydney, and is pale like Cara, but has really red hair, straight like Sydneys', with slight curls at the bottom. It's short, only to her shoulder blades. Her eyes are a dark blue... And...um... Yeah, that's it." Toby said, and I nodded.

"And what about me? What do I look like, and please don't change anything to make me feel better about myself." I felt my hands being taken, as he looked me over. I blushed slightly, suddenly not wanting his answer, feeling horrible, remembering what Justice, or Olga, or Jess, and how pretty they all were.

"Well, your hair has grown to your midback, and it's a really nice blond, not too bright. Your eyes have turned almost a Grey blue, but with small, green flecks in them. You've always been super pale, something I've liked about you. You've become really skinny, due to the hospital not feeding you enough. I can almost count your ribs-" I became really insecure about this, and wrapped my arms around my chest, as I had problems with weight when I was younger, and had almost killed myself because I refused to eat so often. Toby seemed to notice my discomfort, and leaned forward so his forehead touched mine, fluffy hair brushing against my forehead.

"You will always look perfect in my eyes." He said, and I smiled slightly.

"Thank you."

* * *

**I'm baaaccck :)**


	5. Chapter 5

Gently, I pulled away from Toby, and lay back on my pillow.  
"So if I am, indeed, living with you, what was it like? Did I annoy you? Was I too 'fangirly'? Or did I hide that?" I said, and he chucked.  
"Well, not exactly. It was nice, we would record together some days, and other days, I would barely know you were in the house! Then we would go out for dinner sometimes, mostly for pizza. I was going to take you to VidCon, as the girls said. We went to London a few weeks ago, for… um." Toby stopped talking here, and I immediately sat up, wanting to know why he paused. Obviously, it was something very bad, or else he would have told me.  
"What? What's wrong? Did something happen to Edd?" I asked, and his grip on my hand tightened slightly. There was a moment of silence, until he spoke gently, leaning forward again, bringing me into a hug.  
"He passed away… Last month… We went to London for his funeral…" Toby said, and I bit my tongue to hold back tears.  
"No, he couldn't have…" I said, my face hot. I turned to him, though it didn't do much, but he gently confirmed that Edd, had indeed, left us. By this time, my tongue must have been bleeding from the amount of weight I was pushing on it, and I tasted copper.  
"Oh…" I said, and brought my hand up to my own face, and found that, even though I tried to hold it back, I was crying, the hot tears rolling down my face. I gently moved into Tobys shoulder, wanting comfort. We stayed like this for a while, until we heard a nurse cough from the doorway.  
"I'm here to give Autumn a final check-up, then she is free to go home, after one more day." I must have been here longer then I thought, as I was being released already. Toby seemed overjoyed at this, a smile spreading across his face, which was leaning on my shoulder, so I felt his lips widen into a smile.  
"Alright, well, I'll just go then…" He said, and awkwardly left the room. The nurse chuckled slightly, and I heard her feet clicking over to the bed side. I turned in the direction of it, and I heard her giggling slightly.  
"Got a keeper there, hon. Real nice, forgiving too. Once, I spilt coffee on his lap, not on purpose of course, and he was so nice. Quite a looker too." She said, and I blushed.  
"No, we're not together, we're just… roommates, I guess. I don't really remember, but he has proven who he is, so I'm not going to say anything." I reply, and I heard her scoff.  
"Well, if you could see the way he looks at you, I am so jealous. If only mine was that loyal. He's been here the entire time, you know. Was actually about to go back to America two days after you woke, to get his dog, and bring his kids back. Real gentle with those kids too, plays with 'em, you can see the sadness in his eyes, but he puts on a smile for them. Addicted to his phone though, and is always talking to someone. Facetiming, or whatever it's called. Something about horses and buckets…" I smiled slightly as I remembered watching one of Tobys vlogs, months ago, I would guess, where he was 'talking to his mom' to avoid getting kicked out of the store. The nurse finished checking my vitals, and my eyes sight, which was still nothing, then left the room. Toby came back a few minutes later, and smelt of food.  
"Hey, want a burger? They're pretty good!" Toby said, handing me something warm, and slightly greasy. I was unsure at first, but eventually, hunger took over, and I bit into the burger eagerly, eating it slowly, cherishing the flavour.  
"It's been such a long time since I've eaten a burger." I said, smiling, as I remembered a BBQ back in Canada with my family, where I had been the only one with a burger.  
"It's been so long since you've eaten anything by mouth, really." Toby reminded me, and I shrugged, eating away. It was too good, and quickly disappeared.  
"So, how was the check up?" Toby asked, his 'popular girl' lisp coming in. I chucked, and bit my lip, which was incredibly dry, and actually cracked as soon as I did, and I tasted copper again. Toby tsked slightly, and I smirked.  
"It went okay, I assume. The nurse was talking about you a lot too." I said, and realized that sounded slightly weird.  
"More of telling me how you acted and stuff, I'm just going to shut up now." I said, feeling embarrassed. I shifted slightly to get comfortable, but was bored. It was quiet in the room, until I realized there was a faint underlining scent of… something.  
"What's that smell?" I asked. It wasn't a bad scent, more like the smell of blown out candles, and flowers.  
"Oh, the audience sent you come flowers, and one of the nurses lit candles in here one night. It was nice. There are so many letters too, if you want me to read you some." Toby said, and I smiled, nodding. He grabbed a plastic bag, I heard the crinkling, and shifted his chair over. I moved over on the bed, which was big enough for three of me, and patted the space beside me.  
"I want to know where you are." I said, and he climbed onto the bed beside me, and I leaned against him, though it seemed weird, it also was nice. I had probably lost all sense of personal space by this time. But Toby didn't mind. He started out with one of the letters, addressed from a 'Susie Brown', who was twelve, but had immaculate spelling and writing, and used very good grammar.  
"Dear Autumn, my name is Susie Brown, and, obviously enough, I'm part of the Audience. I've been watching Tobys videos for a while, but I actually watch them mostly for you know, as you're really nice. I'm really happy you and Toby are… Going to skip this part…" Toby paused, skimming over the letter, then put it aside, sighing.  
"Most of them assume we're dating." He said, and I nodded, knowing from experience. Whenever Toby hung out with a girl too long, the audience would probably assume they were dating, unless it was obvious.  
"Have you made your lazy vlog today?" I asked, and Toby shook his head.  
"I was waiting for you to wake up, I wanted to vlog with you… That is, if you're feeling up to it. The hospital told me I could take you outside, and for a walk around the grounds, if you want…"

* * *

I nodded enthusiastically, and Toby hopped down from the bed swiftly, and held out his hand to me.  
"There's probably going to be even more rumours' now, because I'm not letting you go off wondering yourself, or even break contact with me, you know." Toby said, and I nodded, gently placing my feet on the ground. I then realized I was probably in one of those flimsy hospital dresses, and by the sound outside, it was very windy.  
"That's fine, but is there any clothes I can change into?" I asked, pointing to the dress. Toby left my side, and rang the nurse, who came into the room, and clacked over to us.  
"Is there any clothes we could have for Autumn? We're going out for a walk, and the wind would probably blow the dress… And, you know. Not decent…" Toby said, walking back to me, brushing up against my shoulder, letting me know he was there.  
"Yes, in the wardrobe over there." The nurse said, and I could tell it was a different nurse, as this ones accent was thicker.  
"Thank you." Toby said, and quickly walked over to the wardrobe, and picked out some clothes.  
"Jeans, sweater, t-shirt. Do you want me to get… um… underwear-" Toby started saying, handing me each item as he said it, then asked. I quickly shook my head, face burning at the thought.  
"No, I'll get them myself, just lead me to the drawer." I said, holding out my hand. I accidentally dropped the clothes, but Toby picked them up before I could even bend over to grab them, and placed them into my hand, and led me over to the drawer.  
"Top drawer, to the left. Are you sure you don't want me to get them? I put them in there…" Toby said, and my face burned even more, until the point I was sure I was red as a lobster, if not redder,  
"No, please." I said quickly, stumbling to get the words out, and I quickly grabbed two of the offending items, and hid them in the small pile, and closed the drawer quickly, and stumbled over to where I assumed Toby was, but tripped on the bag that lay on the floor. I squeaked in surprise, but was caught by Toby. There was a faint memory of that happening before, but I couldn't figure it out.  
"Thanks." I said quietly, and stood up quickly, holding onto Tobys arms to steady myself.  
"If you could bring me to the bathroom now…" I said, and we moved to one of the corners of the room, and Toby opened the door to the bathroom. I drew in a breath, gaining confidence, and left go of Tobys arm, and went into the bathroom, wanting to do this myself. I changed slowly, not wanting to fall over, and once I finished, was proud I had done it myself.  
"Alright, I'm done. Could you open the door?" I called out, lost in the large bathroom. I heard the door open behind me, and turn. I heard Toby chuckling slightly, and walked into the room, and put his hand on my shoulder.  
"You put on the sweater backwards." He said, and I reached up, and grabbed the hood in, and pulled it in front of my face.  
"I see no difference." I said, smirking. Toby laughed lightly, and gently pulled it back down, tapping my nose. I stuck out my tongue, and put my arms inside my sweater, and tried to turn it around, but ended up getting trapped sideways.  
"Um, if you could…?" I asked, looking where I assumed Toby was, but found he was actually a little taller, and I had been staring at his chest. He turned the sweater around, and I stuck my hands through the sweater, and swatted at him, smile spread across my face. He chuckled, and I stuffed my hands into the large pockets of the sweater, which draped over me. Toby gently touched me on the shoulder, which caused me to jump, but gently calmed, and he held out his arm, and I grabbed his elbow, as it seemed the best position for being led.  
"Outside?" I said, and he hummed slightly in response, and we started out of the hospital. Toby started describing things to me, like the look of the hospital, and different hospital staff, who smiled at him when we passed, and apparently, looked at me sympathetically.  
"Are we near the doors yet?" I asked, and he nodded.  
"Yep, actually right here. Come on, we'll vlog in the gardens!" Toby suggested, and opened a door. I heard the chirps of birds, and I grinned. It was nice, hearing them again. We walked slowly through the grounds, until finally we reached the gardens, which was far from the road, so I could only hear nature and Tobys talking. He gently guided me around, and shifted slightly, pulling his phone out.  
"Audience wha-?! What are you doing in a flower? Bringing those to a girl? Aw, so cute. Intro of darkness then redness then whiteness then AUTUMNESS" He exclaimed, and I smiled slightly, but unsure where the camera was.  
"Okay, so, let me quickly explain. Autumn woke up… about… three weeks ago? She's been in and out of sleep, but this is her first time outside, since… September, I'm pretty sure, and it's now April, so… quite a while." My eyebrows shot up in surprise, and I shivered gently, thinking of everything I missed in the time I was gone.  
"Can we stop talking about 'her' as if she isn't here? I may not be able to see you, but I can hear you!" I said, scowling slightly, and Toby laughed, and adjusted his arm.  
"So, as Autumn just mentioned, when you woke up, we found that you couldn't see, right?" He turned to me, and I nodded, and looked off to the side, where I heard a bird chirping.  
"Yeah, seems about right…" I said, and coughed slightly. Toby jumped at the sudden noise, and rushed to ask what was wrong.  
"I'm fine, it's just a cough. I'm not some weak little three year old, I'm okay now." I said, but knew in the back of my mind that I was the opposite of 'okay', I was blind, and half of my supposed best friends career was based around seeing, if not %100 of it!  
"Well, let's sit down, just to make sure." He said, leading me towards a bench. I sighed heavily, and scowled, but felt his arm gently squeezing my arm in comfort. He continued to talk to the phone, telling them about what had happened, and everything really. The plans for VidCon, apparently, we were going to go, and hope to get tickets at the door. I was unsure about this, but trusted Toby. It was weird, to think I trusted him, literally, with my life. He could walk me onto the middle of the road, and let me get hit by a car. I wasn't even completely sure it was him.  
"Outro of darkness then redness then whiteness then flowerness then benchness then BOOP!" I heard him finish the vlog, and it confirmed it was Toby, only he could to that exact outro and intro.  
"So it's really you…" I mused, and he took my arm again, urging me up off the bench.  
"We could go to the diner here, if you want…" Toby said, and I glanced at the ground.  
"Are you asking me out on a date?" I asked, furrowing my brow. I heard him scratch the back of his head, nervously flexing his hand.  
"Well, if you don't want it to be, then…" He said nervously, and I felt my face burning again.  
"Are you sure this is healthy? Making me blush so often?" I said, smirking, I heard Toby chuckle.  
"Maybe, depends what you're blushing about. You weren't usually like this, before what happened. They said some things might change, but, I don't know. It's a good change, I guess." Toby said, coughing awkwardly. I mocked him slightly, smirking.  
"Oh, you want me to get you some water? What about some cough syrup? YOU NEED A MEDIC." I said, and he chuckled.  
"Arg, yes, dying, bleh." He said, spacing out his words. I smiled slightly, and we wondered back into the hospital.


	6. Chapter 6

We walked into the hospital, and I accidentally bumped into someone.

"Hey! Watch where you're going!" They exclaimed, and I winced slightly, looking where I had heard the voice.

"Sorry, I can't see you..." I said, and the person grumbled about something, and left, pushing by. I blinked, though it did nothing, and kept walking, trying to make sense of the many sounds around me, but they all scrambled together into one big sound.

"This is going to be difficult." I said, clutching Toby's arm tighter. He hummed in response, so I assume he nodded. I started to smell pizza, so I assumed we were near the restaurant.

"I would have taken you some where much more fancy, but the hospital won't let you leave the premises. But as soon as we get back to L.A, I promise, we will go out properly." Toby said, and I glanced at the ground.

"Mr Turner, what are you talking about? I have a job to return to! I will have to phone Emily, and figure out some way to write without seeing!" I said, trying to cover my flush.

"Yes, but you really also want to go for dinner with me, it's long over due. Also, we're going to meet some of my friends, because you've probably watched them, but you've never met them. Same as them." He said, and I nodded slightly.

"Alright, fine. You win this one." I mumbled slightly, and Toby led me into the restaurant, I could tell by the sounds getting louder. The clanking of dishes, the bark of the chefs ordering people around.

"So many sounds... Do you think we could just go back to the room after ordering and eat there? I won't be able to concentrate on you here." I said, looking at where I assumed Toby was.

"I'm not that tall, and yes, of course. I realized that as soon as we walked in." He continued walking until he stopped where either a line was, or a counter.

"Sorry though, the line is quite long. Do you want me to take you back to the room, and come back to order?" I thought about the silence, and shivered in fear. The silence ate at me, hatefully. There could be anyone in the room, and I couldn't know. Unfortunately, Toby misjudged this, and assumed I was cold, and insisted that he brought me back, even when I told him that I would rather stay there with him. I sat on the corner of the bed, 'staring' into the room forcefully, though I could see nothing. I heard something creak in the room next door, and started, before hearing people walk past the closed door.

"H-hello? Is anyone in here?" I asked shakily, but hear nothing in response. I start shaking in physical fear as I can feel myself losing sanity. It's scary being alone in a quiet room, that you cannot see in any way, shape, or form. I shrieked in fright when I heard the door creak open, and I heard someone stumble into the room.

"Shhh, it's only me, it's only me! What's wrong? Why are you crying?" He asked, and I felt something getting placed at the end of the bed, and heard him walking over. He placed a gentle hand on my cheek, which I jumped in fear at too, and wiped away a tear.

"I didn't realize... Sorry... I feel so worthless and scared, it's like I'm five." I said, and I heard him dragging the chair over again.

"We'll fix that as soon as we go back to L.A, alright? We will make it much easier for you to be more independent on yourself, I promise." I smiled slightly, bringing my knees up to my chest, resting my chin on them.

"Okay. What kind of pizza did you get?" I asked, glancing at the bottom of the bed. I heard him get up again, and bring the pizza box over, opening it, and pulling out a piece.

"Cheese and pepperoni, with the dipping sauce that you like!" He told me, and I grinned.

"Thanks." I said, when he handed me a piece, along with a small plastic plate.

"No problem." We both went silence, chewing on our pizza quietly. I heard him tapping away at his phone, and I realized I had no idea where mine was.

"Hey, where's my phone?" I asked, and heard him jump slightly in surprise, obviously no used to me talking.

"Oh, uh... I think Nicole took it with her, she promised to give it back once she finished calling everyone. I should probably tell her you're up..." He said, and we both grew silent again. I looked up at Toby after a while, feeling some one looking at me.

"What's the matter?" I asked, and he got up, walking over to me. I felt him lean slightly on the bed, but a distance away.

"Your dad came to the hospital too, as did your brother. I asked them where your mom was, but they told me that she wasn't allowed. I realize you may not want to tell me, about what she did, but I'm curious. So, if you feel like telling me about it..." He left the end open to discussion, and I sighed deeply. I really didn't want to tell him, but I knew he deserved the truth.

"Well. I suppose you should know. When I was younger, she... She was living with us. My dad and her.. They got into a lot of fights, and most of them were about money. We weren't what you would call, better off, in any way. We were... Very poor, and my brother was very sick. The operation would have cost so much money, that we wouldn't have been able to eat, or even pay for the small house we had!" I felt Toby get onto the bed, and I shuffled towards him, wanting to know I wasn't alone, as he was being very quiet. He placed a hand on my knee, and I started talking again.

"Then, she left. She got up and left one day, and we didn't see her again that week. Soon after, she came back, reeking of drink. It was late at night, and I was babysitting my brother. We were both very young, here, only 13 and 7, and she broke into the house. We hid in one of the rooms, but she found us, and started yelling and screaming. Then, she saw my brother crying... and..." I started getting choked up here, and stopped, unable to continue.

"It's alright, I understand now. It's alright... I'm here." He said soothingly, and I nodded, and gently wiped away some tears. I could feel my face was cold, which also meant it had paled.

"I'm sorry, I can't tell you anything else. I'm scared. Nicole doesn't even know this. I'm... I'm scared that she's going to find me." I said, and Toby moved closer, hugging me.

"It's alright, I'm here, we're alone. There's no one else in the room. I'll be here to protect you. Always, I promise." He said softly in my ear, and I nodded, my voice breaking as I replied.

"I can't put that responsibility onto you, I'm really sorry, you shouldn't have to know this. I'm a broken person, and you're strong. I'm just sitting here, riding out life until it ends, and now I'm taking you with me." I replied, and Toby tutted slightly, and wrapped his arms around me softly.

"No, don't think like that. It's more of, I decided to share the journey." He whispered quietly. I was getting slightly tired from crying, and the day was wearing thin, I could tell, as the birds outside the window were chirping less, and the room was growing colder. Toby started humming a tune that I didn't recognize, but it was nice, and slow. I cuddled into him before I could realize what I was doing. He was warm, heat radiating from his body in waves.

"Toby?" I asked, turning to look up at him. He glanced down, tilting his head.

"Yes?" He replied.

"Thank you for staying with me." I said, then turned in his arms, burying my face into his chest, and closing my sightless eyes, forcing myself to fall asleep. In my dreams, I could see the sun again, and feel it's heat against my face, beating down. It felt so warm, and nice. I was in a big, empty field, twirling around, my blond hair dropping in my face, but I didn't care. I was preoccupied with looking around me with joy. It had all been just a dream. I could till see, I hadn't missed my entire summer, and Toby was not my roommate. I knew that was impossible, even more impossible that he might have chosen to... could I say he fell in love with me? Or was it more of a like...? I could never be sure. It was a great dream though, but it was time to wake up. There's always a time to wake up.

"Wake up Autumn, the sun is rising, and it's a new day." I heard a vaguely familiar voice say, shaking me softly. I opened my eyes, expecting to be blinded by light, but there was still nothing. I felt my stomach drop, but also my heart flutter. So, maybe I did live with Toby, but I couldn't see... I couldn't decide which would be worse, though, I would rather see, and not live with Toby, then be the way I was, if I was being honest with myself. I sat up in bed, lifting my heavy arms, still sleepy.

"What time is it?" I said, my voice coming out as a tired groan. Toby chuckled, lifting me up off the bed.

"Around ten in the afternoon, sleepy head." He replied, and fondly ruffled my hair. I smiled slightly, bowing my head.

"Well, thank you for letting me sleep in so late." I spoke quietly, and started wondering around the edges of the room, finding where my clothes were.

"I'm going to get changed now..." I mumbled, and started towards where I remember the bathroom was. I shut the door behind me, and lay the clothes out on the counter, this time being cautious about where the tags were, so I would know if I was putting it on backwards. The clothes seemed like a pair of skinny jeans, and a baggy shirt. I couldn't tell what was on it just from feeling, but I knew there was some kind of graphic because of the rough texture of the front. I would have to ask Toby when I finished. I moved on to the next piece of clothing, finding a zip up hoodie, with another decal layer across the front. From the position, I could suppose it was another Tobuscus hoodie, possibly one Toby left laying around, who knew. But I picked up the clothes one at a time, and put them on with care to make sure they were on the correct way, as it would be very embarrassing walking around with my pants on backwards. I left the hoodie open as to question Toby about the design on the front, and left the bathroom.

"Hey, Toby?" I questioned, reaching out to find him, but almost smacking his chest in the process, as he had been standing in front of me. He mumbled a reply that sounded like a 'Yes?' but I couldn't be too sure. None the less, I asked;

"What's the design on my shirt?" I felt him shift under my palms, obviously looking down. I suddenly felt very self conscious about myself, but tried to push that out of my mind, as I had struggled with that too much in the past. Toby was my friend, I shouldn't be so worried about my body around him.

"It's a band shirt, I think... It's three knifes that are fading, and on the knives it says... um..." I felt him lean down, tilting his head. The words were sideways then.

"It's My Chemical Romance, I think." I said before he could finish what the title was, and he nodded.

"Yep, how did you know?"

"Well, three knives that are fading is a design by them, and the band name is going down the knives, right? Because you tilted your head to read it, and had to lean down. So, therefore, I could tell." I replied, smiling brightly.

"Wow, you're getting good at this blind thing..." He commented, and grabbed my hand suddenly, causing me to jump.

"Thanks." I said after a second of panic, calming down when I felt the familiar texture.

"So, today, I was thinking maybe we could try to get your memory back... I heard in the wings this morning that maybe audio might help you remember, and I have quite a bit of that. Also, the audience seems overjoyed that you're back, and very sympathetic about your eyes." Toby said soothingly, running his thumb over the top of my hand. I nodded, and he lead me somewhere, I heard the door close behind us as we left. He lead me through the busy hospital, and down to a restaurant, where it was quieter, and the smell of food made me perk up almost instantly.

"Are you hungry?" Toby asked, and I nodded. He took me up to the front counter, where I could hear the sounds of pots and pans being moved, and the hiss when hash browns were put onto the grill. I heard my stomach rumble quietly, but it wasn't a source of interest, so I went back to listening. From the sounds alone, I could estimate there was about three different groups of people in here, as it was quieter then it would have been with bigger.

"Hi, can I get two breakfast meals?" I heard Toby ask, and the cash register open, change being put into it, and then footsteps walking into the back. I turned to my side where Toby was, tilting my head.

"She nodded." Toby explained, and I sighed lightly. This blind thing wasn't fun.


	7. Chapter 7

Two days later, I was sitting in an airplane, wishing Nicole didn't take my phone, grasping Tobys hand in nervousness. This defiantly wasn't my first time flying, but I still couldn't see anything, so it was terrifying.

"It's alright, calm down." Toby soothed, I knew he still felt extremely guilty about the mob, but I couldn't thank hum more for helping me get my memory back. He had sat with me for two long nights, telling me about everything. It had come back like a wave, washing over me, my mouth gaping open in realization. The flight took off, and right on cue, a baby started sobbing; loudly.

"Perfect..." I mumbled under my breath, Toby chuckling in response.

"At least our three are older then that, and don't cry often." He replied, and I nodded, resting my head back. I was tired, but not tired enough to sleep. It was a unique type of torture when I heard Toby snoring beside me. I knew he hadn't slept well last night, so I let him sleep, opting for listening to the conversations around me. I didn't open my eyes, so I didn't get caught listening in to the conversation. The couple in front of me was talking about their honeymoon plans. It was sickeningly adorable. If I ever had a wedding, I don't want anything big. I suppose though, I don't know what I want. I don't even really want to get married right now. I changed my focus to the teenage girls across from me. They were talking about an up and coming band in excited English accents. I could tell they were quite dedicated fans if they would travel all this way for a concert. I couldn't catch the name of the band though, because whenever one of them would say it, the other would squeal quietly. I changed again, and started focusing on Toby's snores. They were peaceful, and repetitive. It started to make... Me... A little...

I woke with a start. The captain had just announced we would be landing soon. I must have fallen asleep. Huh. I reached over, and started shaking Toby to wake him up, then started to grab my stuff from the over hanging basket. Thankfully, nothing fell on my head. I sat back down, bag in my lap, as I felt the plane land. Then, there was a long wait until the other people had exited the plane so I could get off without bumping into people. I really could not wait until I got my sight back. Or maybe I wouldn't... The thought itself struck fear in my heart, and I shook it off. I just had to survive the darkness for a bit, the light will come back eventually. It wouldn't be that hard... Just rely completely on Toby. This was going to be interesting. Toby grabbed my hand, pulling me forward. We exited the plane, and I suddenly was being hugged by four people.

"Autumn, I knew I should have stayed, I'm so sorry, and here's your phone back." I knew that voice anywhere. Nicole pushed the phone into one of my hands, then backed off. The three around my waist were still clinging tightly. I knew it was the girls, and smiled.

"Hey guys! I said, and they pulled away.

"You're back!" I heard one of them say, and nodded. I heard one of them asking to be picked up by Toby, and he complied.

"We really liked it at Olga's! She was really nice!" Sydney exclaimed, grabbing at my free hand.

"Come on guys, the taxi van is waiting." Nicole urged, and Sydney started to pull me forward, towards where I assumed the van was. A few minutes later, I was in the back seat between Toby and Sydney, who was telling me about Vidcon excitedly. I felt Toby shake his head beside me, and pull out his wallet, then the crinkle of money.

"What's that for?" I asked him, but he didn't answer, just handing the money to Nicole, who laughed.

"Bet money." She explained, but didn't continue, so I assumed they didn't want me to know what they bet about, and I wasn't about to make it awkward. I handed my phone to Toby, asking him to put on the first My Chemical Romance song he could find, and put my headphones in. A few seconds later, The Light Behind Her Eyes started playing. I grinned, and sat listening to the music gleefully. I hadn't heard this song, or band in three months.

"Hey Autumn, did Toby tell you about MCR?" When I shook my head, Nicole sighed, and started to explain.

"They broke up. No final tour, nothing. An eighty five word paragraph, that's it." My mouth dropped open, shock obvious on my face. I never imagined they would… During my younger years, I would listen to them whenever I felt alone, or I couldn't sleep, felt sick, or hated the world. Now it was gone… Quickly, I fixed my composure, shutting my mouth. It was bound to happen eventually. The conversation was dropped until the taxi van stopped in from of the house. Nicole paid the fine, and we all got out. Judging by the coolness of the air, it was night. We approached the door, and Toby pulled out his keys, and unlocked it. I heard Gryphon jumping onto Toby's legs, sniffing him, then started licking someone's hand. I walked into the house, and started towards where I was sure my bedroom was, only to end up bumping into the wall. I laughed it off, and started moving along the wall until I found my door, and went in, putting my bag down. In my mind, I had a layout of my bedroom. I would be able to find my way around here. I took the clothes out of my bag, and started towards my dresser, occasionally tripping on certain things, but I didn't get hurt. I put the clothes away, and sat on my bed, listening to music. Toby came in about a half hour later, and sat beside me.

"The girls are in bed." He said quietly, and I nodded, pulling my headphones out.

"I really wish I could type right now, I have so many ideas flowing around my mind, and I just… I want to write, but I can't."

"I could write it for you, while you tell me about it. I might not be very descriptive, but you could edit it after you get your sight back." Toby suggested, and I tilted my head, thinking. That could work well… Toby got up, going to the office, and sitting in the chair. I followed him, and sat on the floor. I wasn't even sure I was facing him, but I started talking, weaving a tale about a little deaf girl, living in a medieval village. Her mother had sacrificed herself to keep her alive…

It was late when I stopped talking, and I was extremely tired, my voice getting thin when Toby stopped typing, and saved the story, then picked me up suddenly, taking me to my bed.

"Thanks…" I mumbled, pulling my blankets up to my chin. He gave me a hug, then exited the room. I heard the click of the light going off, and closed my eyes, trying to sleep.


	8. Chapter 8

I woke the next morning around noon, still extremely jet lagged, and blind. I sat in bed, trying to fully wake up, and get my bearing. I heard someone knock at the door timidly.

"Hello?" I called, and the door creaked open, and I heard the clinking of a spoon against porcelain.

"A-Autumn?" I heard Cara say softly, and turned towards her voice.

"Come in Cara, come sit." I replied, patting the end of the bed. I heard her tiptoe over, and place something on the end of the bed, then climb onto the bed.

"I made you some breakfast." She said sweetly. I smiled gently at her, raising my arm. She crawled across the bed, and cuddled into my side. I laughed lightly, resting my arm on her shoulder.

"Do you need help eating?" She asked, dragging the bowl over. I shook my head, and felt around the outer ring of the bowl for the spoon, grasping it, and started eating. Cara cuddled into my side the entire time, talking about different things, and how happy she was here. It made me feel good to know I had helped her a bit. Eventually, she got bored, and ran out of the room to go play with the others. I got up, and felt my way out to the kitchen, placing the bowl on the counter, since I couldn't find the dishwasher. I made a mental note to tell someone about it later. I continued to feel my way around the room, finally bumping into someone.

"Oops, sorry!" I exclaimed, jumping back. I heard Toby chuckle, and was suddenly grabbed by the hips, and pulled into a hug. I knew my face was burning red, but it was hidden in his chest, thankfully.

"Good morning!" He said cheerfully, petting my head. I let out a muffled reply that even I couldn't understand. I think I had tried to say hi, but who knows. He chuckled again, and released me, causing me to stumble into a counter.

"Y-you're in a good mood." I stuttered, and he nodded.

"Well, being home for the first time in three months, plus you being awake!" He explained, and I heard him walk towards the cupboards, pulling out two cups.

"Want some coffee?" He asked, and I nodded.

"Yes please..." I said, and sat on top of the counter, listening with curiosity as Toby went around the kitchen, flicking the coffee maker on, pulling out sugar and cream.

"Do you need me to type anything today?" He asked, but I shook my head.

"Nah, I should be fine. I was wondering if maybe we could go for a walk though. Then I can learn my way around." I replied, shifting on spot, rubbing my eyes. What I would give to see... Shaking the thought off, Toby handed me the warm cup. Sipping it, I hummed in appreciation.

"Thanks." I mumbled, continued sipping the coffee. Toby sat beside me on the counter, drinking his own coffee. Eventually, I put the coffee aside, and hopped off the counter.

"So, walk?" I asked again, looking to where Toby had been. He mumbled a sound of agreement, and then I heard his shoes touch the floor, and his hand enveloping mine.

"So where do you want to walk to?"

"I don't know... Somewhere with a lot of sound." Toby nodded, and started pulling me out of the kitchen. I knew he wouldn't let me run into a wall, and let him lead.

"So where are we going?" I asked, but Toby refused to tell, pulling me to the car.

"It's a special place I looked up last night." Was the only thing he said. I sighed, and leaned back in the seat, just waiting for us to arrive wherever we were going. Finally, the car seemed to stop, as Toby got out, and opened my door for me.

"So, can I know now?" I asked as I got out, my hand being grasped by Toby.

"I suppose you can. We're at a movie theatre. I found on that works for blind people." I felt touched that he had actually researched for this.

"You didn't have to do this... We could have just gone out for dinner or something, if you wanted. You really didn't have to..." Toby squeezed my hand slightly, causing my face to flush.

"I wanted to. I was planning on doing this eventually, just not with you... you know. But I still want to." And with that, he pulled me into the theatre. I heard mutters of other people, and assumed we were now in the lobby. Toby kept pulling me until I started to smell popcorn, where we finally stopped. I heard a peppy cashier asking for the names, then the ruffling of paper, which were the tickets. Then, we moved to where the smell of popcorn was all there was, and Toby ordered some snacks. He asked me for my favorite kind of soda, and then we moved to a room where it was almost silent, minus a few mumbles from the other movie goers.

"How am I going to be able to watch the movie? I can't watch anything like this!"

"Speaking of watching, Nicole is watching the girls. Here, put these headphones on." Toby replied, as he sat in one of the seats lining the room. I sighed, and pulled the headphones over my ears, which were suddenly filled with sound. It was as if the ads before a movie were being projected into my eyes, but with a mix of my own vision. I vaguely heard Toby chuckle beside me, before knotting our hands together again. I leaned back in my chair, closing my eyes (Even though I didn't need to). A voice suddenly spoke through the headphones, telling everyone to please enjoy the show, and not to interrupt the other watchers. Cell phones asked to turn off, etc. The usual movie things. Then, the movie started, just as planned. It was amazing. It was as if everything was really happening, and my eyes were the camera. Though I knew the actual actors of the movie looked much different, the characters I had thought of when reading the book were suddenly real. Sighing happily, I squeezed Tobys hand, reminding myself to thank him once the movie was done.

"That was amazing!" I exclaimed once the movie ended, pulling my headphones off, and snapping my eyes open, almost expecting to have to wince from the light, but obviously didn't. Toby laughed, helping me stand up.

"I'm glad you enjoyed it!" He said, still holding my hand. I'm sure my face was red, but I was too happy to notice at the time, walking alongside Toby, out the front doors, and back to his car.

"We should do this again sometime." He said with his voice low. His head was right beside my ear, causing me to jump in surprise. I hadn't realized he was so close. I nodded, climbing into the car. Though it was only noon, I was surprisingly tired, though that was probably the side effects of the movie. Talking enthusiastically about the movie, we arrived home. Kiana was waiting at the door when we arrived; almost demanding we tell her about the movie, and how it was. A few questions she asked caused me to blush, and when she pointed out Tobys hand was still holding mine, I could have sworn my face was burning.

"Come on, did you guys kiss or not?!" She exclaimed, and I knew that I looked like a lobster with the amount I was blushing.

"No Kiana, now can I go? We've told you about the movie, I want to go check that Nicole is alright, and hasn't been torn up from you three." Knowing that she was pouting from the small noise she made, I swept by her, making my way slowly upstairs, where I could hear three pairs of feet running around, and the squeals of Sydney and Cara.


	9. Chapter 9

I was just hanging out with Toby in the living room one day, him reading me a book when the words seemed to tumble out of his mouth.

"Autumn, do you want to go out on an actual date? Like… Me and you, but you're my girlfriend; or something? I mean, you don't have to say yes, I mean" He laughed nervously, and I heard him scratching at the back of his head. I honestly couldn't move, I knew that time was going by around me, but I was frozen with shock. The suddenly, it all seemed to fly back, and I was nodding my head vigorously. Toby's laughed brightly, and I was suddenly being hugged, though I obviously didn't mind. I giggled brightly, something I didn't do often, and hugged him back tightly.

It all just seemed to go downhill from there… Toby and I have been together for a year now… And this is going to be the last six months we spend together. The doctors have diagnosed me with cancer, like my brother, but the chemo isn't working, and it's just making the end worse. I lay in my hospital bed, weakly breathing. I pulled out a note book, and started to write one last time. I had managed to teach myself to write, even if I couldn't see, I would still do what I loved.

Dear Toby,

We've had a great time together… I've been trying to relive the moments, but I know that I'm not going to survive this. So I'm writing you this as not a goodbye note, but more of a see you soon, but not too soon. I know I'm dying, I've known it since the beginning. Tell the girls that I love them. Tell Nicole that she was the best sister I could have… God this is getting sappy… I just… I love you Toby, and that's not going to stop when I die, hopefully. I don't know what happens when you die, and I'm not going to pretend that I do know. I don't believe in any kind of god, I don't believe in anything really. The only thing I believe in is that life ends for everyone sometime, but I don't know what to expect on the other side. I hate ending Toby, I really do. They're always so scary, and they hurt. Almost never is there a happy ending, except in princess stories. Though I'm not a princess, you've still made me pretty damn happy, so I guess this is a happy ending… I'm going to miss you, wherever I'm going. Promise me that you will take care of yourself, and Nicole. Start dating; find the right women, because I know Toby, that it probably wasn't me. I'm just a fan from Canada who happened to move in with you. We didn't have long enough together, and I know that, and I'm so sorry, even though I can't control this. I love you so much Toby, and in the words of a wise man, I hate the ending myself, but it started with an alright scene. Our first date; our fifth date; the time you took me to my families, the time I got so drunk I don't even remember it. The memories we've made with each other made the story worth living. Our first kiss; do you still remember it? It was sweet, and shy, just like all our kisses, the way I like them, and hopefully you do too. Toby Turner, I thank you for the best two years of my life. I love you.

Outro of darkness then redness then whiteness…

~BlondiBuscus (Autumn)

Hope you liked the ending! :D

Just a note, I'm not going to be posting anymore Toby fanfics, I just can't bring myself to watch him anymore, but if you like Mavin, Destiel, or even just my writing and want to see a few original stories of mine that are in the works, stick around! Thank you so much for all the reviews over the past... Two years I think? Either way, I love all of you guys, if you decide to stick around or not! Bye!


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